It’s really a love-hate relationship. It’s between them. I try to stay out of it.
My sweet Griffy runs hard. He just started walking at 13 months. Now at 16 months? He’s running! Full fledged. INTO EVERYTHING! Through every obstacle and atop the ever changing surfaces of our little spread of six acres. Plowing through the caliche gravel, sweeping over rock piles, and tumbling down soft beds of grass, my son is running like Forrest Gump kicking his leg braces off for the first time. He thinks he’s got magic legs.
Let’s pray he doesn’t decide to embark on a cross-country trek anytime soon. My Momma heart can’t take it. It’s all fun and games until he eats it on a boulder or face plants near a shard of metal. Trust me. Both have happened.
I’ve grown to watch him with a varying set of eyes:
Terror, Worry, Optimism, Trust, and of course A Mother’s Ever Praying Hope that he’ll make it to his next birthday. I’ve thrown in an optimistic “Whatever” followed by “we’re going to the ER, I just know it.” Each day is a struggle, watching Griffy run around.
One morning while I was visiting with family on the front porch, Griffin took yet another spill and my father in law laughed “He looks like a drunk baby!” Jared had made the SAME OBSERVATION the other day but added “he looks like ME trying to stay on the path of righteousness!” We laughed so hard at that one because it couldn’t have been a more clear picture of how we all look in our pursuit of Jesus.
You ever feel like you’re watching a reel of your own life as you watch your children? It’s like an out of body experience when I see them pretend to fall down and laugh for the thousandth time or show hulk-like frustration over a game of Chutes and Ladders. (sidebar- Please. Someone. Invent a game where my kid always wins because anytime I win, it’s sheer torture)
I see myself when I watch my children, but sometimes I wish I saw more of myself. With all I’ve mentioned about Griffin’s failed attempts at running, it may surprise you that at the forefront of all my fretting- my soul yearns I wish I could run like that.
There’s a passage of scripture in Luke 12 that many are familiar with. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear” Here Jesus challenges us to look at our lives, to examine His favor on us, and to live as if we believe He means what He says. In addition to naming all of the basic things we get caught worrying about, Jesus adds in verse 30 “the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.”
I must confess that it’s been a while since I’ve run hard after the promises and faithfulness of God. I think I get mixed up with the verse that tells me there’s a prize at the end. I think I look around too much. I think I allow my stumbling to stifle me. I want to run like my son.
God knows what I need, He knows where I’m going, and He knows exactly how many times I’m going to fall down on my way up to where He’s calling me. What if I ran as if I knew that? Can you imagine the ground we could cover if we knew we were covered?
Griffin? He’s just running for running's sake. Sure, at times there’s some sort of aim, but mostly it’s just the pure joy of running that’s fueling his fat little footies around. The other day, he started kicking around a soccer ball. He probably gets tripped up on that soccer ball more times than he actually kicks it. He gets so excited “ik ik” he mutters! I’m gonna kick it Mamma! Splat. Right on his face.
What are your goals in life? What are you running after? What if the plans we made are the very thing getting in the way? What if the target has become the obstacle? I read a devotional a few years back and the sounding message I took away from it was that I am too busy running after the things of God rather than God Himself. I needed to change the way I ran. Even now, I seem to have forgotten that lesson. I need tunnel vision for the presence of God in my life.
The phrase “to run hard” means to press in competition, to urge or press importantly, or to banter severely.
That’s Griffy alright. Bantering severely into a trampled flower bed over and over and over again! Lost in the joy of running hard because running frees him. Running gets him somewhere. Running is life! It terrifies his mother! Simply because I’m not sure how it’ll end and I usually think it’ll end badly! Even still- I want to run just like him.
I imagine that a God that knows my outcome would delight in my journey all the more. May it be my life’s mission to race toward Jesus in the same way. Arms flailing behind me, feet stumbling but never stagnant, running hard after Him each and every day.
- Hebrews 12:1
- Proverbs 18:10
- Luke 12:30
- 1 Corinthians 9:24-26
- 2 Samuel 18:23
- Psalms 147:15
- Proverbs 4:12
- Isaiah 40:31
