Big Hands

Let’s be honest. A LOT of me has grown bigger since I had my son. I could be ultra-spiritual and say things like “my heart has grown bigger”, “My faith has grown stronger”, and yada yada yada… but I’m mainly referring to my body. It’s getting fatter. And I’m not a fan.

I was supposed to lose the baby fat. Not curl it all up into my midsection and just let it sit there! What is happening to me?!? Picture me head back and whining in front of my computer. Because that’s what I’m doing. Right. Now. I don’t want to be bigger. I’ve always been small. I’ve always had “great metabolism” and an “athletic build”. Now I hop on a broken elliptical while watching 80’s sitcoms on Hulu and pray to God that I can burn enough calories to work off that batch of cookies that Jared just made… because yes. I ate most of them.

My three year old daughter has asked me on more than one occasion “Mommy, what’s in your tummy now?” because her brother is clearly on the OUTSIDE of my stomach. My three month old son has noticed this as well, though his perception of Mommy being big is much more endearing.

He’s beginning to notice the size of my hands. Completely infatuated with them. He’ll hold them close to his face for large chunks of time, surveying each finger, sticking them in his mouth, and pulling his face back in amazement. It’s hysterical to watch. My hands haven’t changed at all. He’s just now noticing them, I guess.

I’m the same way when it comes to my Father’s hands. Especially with the recent extension of quarantines, the uncertainty of tomorrow, and the fear that I may never again have a fluffy loaf of Nature’s Own Honeywheat Bread. I have to stop and take notice of how very BIG His hands are. I need to take the time to survey the work He has done. To press His words further into my mind. To pray fervently for His words and His motives to be my words and my motives. But I’m distracted.

If I’m being transparent, (and I always try to be) I’m not liking how out of control everything is. I’m not fond of the way my mind tells me that we’ll never survive this season of waiting and sitting. I’m angry with my heart for being so anxious and fearful. I’m missing my family, hugs from my friend, and talking to strangers. I feel so trapped and so isolated.

The lesson I’m learning is this:

For all the things swarming around Griffin, he’s captivated by Mommy’s hands. He’s got lots of things to look at. But he chooses this. Am I choosing the same?

Even as I’m typing this- I’m realizing all that God is holding for me. He’s holding Jared’s job. He’s holding my babies. He’s holding my family in the Dallas/FtWorth area. I’m not trapped. I’m not isolated. Friend, we’re all in God’s hands and we’re all in there together. I’m right next to you. You’re right next to me. Our problems may have gotten bigger, but His hands haven’t changed. And He’s still holding it all.

Sing with me. You know the tune.

He’s got our fear and our doubts- in His hands
He’s got all we are without- in His hands.
Every cry I’ll ever shout- in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands.

Further Reading

John 10:27-30 No one can snatch us out of His hands.

Isaiah 62:2-4 A beautiful declaration of God’s hand in our lives.

I Peter 5:6-7 We are under the mighty hand of God.

Reflect

Which verse best covers the distractions in your life right now?

Who do you relate to more in this devotional? Griffin or myself? Explain.

Do Something

• Write down the verse that best covers your current worries and pray that over you life this week.
• Write down 3 things that God is holding for you in His hands. Take time to praise Him and thank Him for holding it all together for you.
• Next time you hear someone talking about how hopeless they feel, offer some encouragement and remind them of how BIG God’s hands are.

Prayer

Write down 3 things that you need to release into God’s hands. Pray to him this week and ask Him to give you peace in these uncertain times.

Listen

Bigger Than I Thought You Were by Sean Curran

In the Live Performance, I love how he starts out singing “find your freedom” over and over again. This is the mindset we need amidst quarantine.