God and the Goodie Bag

Halloween Night. 1996. We’re walking back to the car, headed home from our third Trick or Treating excursion. This last round, we hit up the “rich side” of town. That’s where the good stuff is. I’m dragging, my costume is sagging at the waist, makeup smeared into my eyes and mouth, and my whole body longs for my Space Jam comforter and warm bed. 

I look over at my baby sister’s trick or treat bucket and see that she’s got a box of Dots. Heyyyyyyy, I think to myself, that’s not fair. I didn’t get any! I quickly strike up a trade but she’s not having it. She’s tired and I’m relentless. We end up fighting in the back seat of the car and my mom turns around and utters the worst phrase known to man. 

That’s it! You’re not getting any candy! 

Oh man, you guys. I wish I could say that this was an isolated incident, but the truth is- I just picked a year. This kind of thing took place more often than not. Something like ‘94, ‘95, ‘96, and on up to the early 2000’s. It was a coin toss to see which one of us would strike first. I wish I could say these patterns of behavior are long behind me, but they’re not. From time to time, I’m still the same selfish little 8 year old I was back then. Looking in someone else’s goodie bag and wishing I had what they had. 

Later on, when we were “ungrounded”, we got a chance to try again. This time, digging deeper into our goodie bags to find a ton of things we don’t even recall getting! We would then be so pleased with our individual take that we didn’t mind pouring it all out on the floor and sharing, trading, or just giving each other pieces we didn’t care for. We were kinder to one another and more gentle having seen the full contents of our bounty. 

You see where I’m going with this, dontcha? 

Yes! Our God is the sweetest and most generous giver. My friends, we are just scratching the surface of all He has in store for us. We look at our neighbor’s well manicured lawn and wish we had “greener grass”, more time, and better resources but we don’t realize that inside our own life, God has stored up a wealth of riches that we’ve yet to discover because we aren’t digging deep enough! We envy what others seem to have in their bag without even taking a look inside our own. 

When I’m wise enough to dig into the word of the Lord, and gaze upon the goodness of His grace, I have a perspective that goes beyond what I thought I was entitled to. I’m no longer fighting for what I don’t have. I’m rejoicing and praising God for what He’s blessed me with. My thoughts turn toward heaven and my soul shouts Whoa! Look at what the Lord has done! I’m more eager to share with others and give myself freely to those who are in need of something I may possess. I can look at someone’s blessing and be encouraged by God’s provision in their life rather than harbor jealousy that He’s not doing the same thing for me. 

Ok. One more thing, and I’ll let you get to trick or treating. 

Every year, my mom ended up with all the Whoppers. I can’t stand them. While we rummaged through our pile, she’d bend down and say, “hey give ‘em here; I’ll take those.” I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she liked them. 

Sometimes God gives us things in our bag that we don’t really care for. Probably something we’re pretty insecure about. A shy personality, a procrastinating nature, a thick and tangled head of hair, or a quirkiness that no one can pinpoint. When we are in a family of believers, someone will kneel down beside you, embrace your insecurities, and say “I’ll take those. I love those.” And it is SO nice to be loved in that way. Just how Jesus intended. 

So let’s spread out our bounty this Halloween Day! Let’s dig deep into our bags and see allllllll that the Great Giver has provided so that we may be in the sweet spirit of sharing and proclaiming good things over one another. 

Love, Kari 

Here are a few more of my costumes over the years. Just for fun:)

I'm the second little one on the left. I think I may have been Cotton Candy? Or a Carebear.....

This was for a science class in college. I was "Gamma Ray".

College again. Cereal Killer. Get it?

This Is What You Asked For

The pajamas were on. It was 6:30….pm. I observed my children from the comfort of the front porch stoop. It felt nice to sit down for a change. I had survived another “Monday”, and was feeling less than thankful. Griffin and Cola flew past me in the front yard, riding on their green Powerwheels dune buggy. I smiled. They are so gosh darn cute, I thought. A little crazy though, very very hard to handle sometimes, and…. Suddenly I felt the Lord tell me “This is what you asked for.” 

Refocusing on my little ones, I considered the times I cried out to God to help me become a mother, years before Cola was born. I laughed, remembering when I wrote in my journal, “Lord, I know I’m supposed to just ask for a healthy baby, and I don’t want to overstep here, but could it please be a boy?” Now that they’re both here, I feel submerged at times. Drowning in “mom guilt”, feeling like I don’t prioritize them enough. 

I thought about different areas of service to friends, family, my job, and other commitments. I keep saying yes to things, knowing full well that once again, I’ll end up in this same posture.  I hate how I keep doing this, I thought. I sat there feeling bad about booking myself ‘til kingdom come. Conflicted and discontent. Again, the Lord spoke to my heart- This is what you asked for. 

To have a full life with a big friends group. To volunteer where my heart felt led, while staying active with and attentive to my kids. To engage in late night conversations with my spouse, make an effort to visit to see family, and to cook more meals at home. 

So many things, I asked for. So many things to juggle. 

I spent the rest of the evening looking out for these “answered prayers”. What were the “big asks” in my life? Did those gifts from the Lord cause gratitude or grievance to flow from my heart?

Last year, about this time, I wrote about being burdened by our blessings. What if, in reality- God never meant for us to be overwhelmed? What if we’re the ones who asked for more and then ran off without asking for His help? 

Here’s my confession, church. I often think that I’m forsaken. I recognize all that He’s done for me, but I forget that He still holds it all. When I don’t know how to manage it, I feel like I’m letting Him down. Like I’m not trustworthy with what He’s given me. Then I run myself ragged trying to keep up with the weight of that burden. Feeling like He’s left me to fend for myself. It’s a lie straight from Satan- to think that you’re left to do it on your own. Jesus even said “I am with you always, to the ends of the earth.” (Matthew 28:20) 

God told Moses, “I will be with you.” 

He reminded Joshua, “Wherever you go, I go.” 

Through Isaiah He called to Israel saying, “I will feed you, carry you in My arms, gently lead you, and hold you close to My heart.” (Isaiah 40:11)

David declared, “God does not abandon His people; His heritage. He holds my right hand and guides me with His counsel. Whom have I but Him?” (Psalm 94:14, 73:23-25)

God doesn’t “help those that help themselves”. God helps those who turn to Him and ask. for. help. It’s time I take inventory of the answered prayers in my life. May I approach each one with a new understanding that the Lord of All is in the business of redeeming my feeble attempt at controlling it all. 

Maybe then, the conversation with my Heavenly Father will look more like this: 

This is what you asked for. 

        Ok Lord, now show me how it works. 

Lord, I haven’t a clue. I’m grateful, but I’m buried in these blessings. Show me how You intend to use the things You’ve given me. What would you have me say to this friend? When should I approach this issue at work? Where do I invest my time and finances? How would you have me show grace to my children? And in the name of all that is holy, how am I supposed to relate to this man you so graciously gave me?  

I know I asked for it all. And I thank You for every ounce of it.  Please show me how it works. 

That’s my prayer for us this time around. That we would be open to seeing our answered prayers, recalling where they came from, and bringing our generous God back into frame so we can better picture His plan for us. There’s no shame in needing a never-changing God to direct us in this ever-changing heap of blessings. 

Kari 

Pushed Out- Recalling What's Really Real

A few weeks ago, the Children’s Ministry started a variety of new and exciting programs! Their goal is to bring the message of truth to transform and shape some of the youngest minds of our congregation. Children’s Church brings the Sunday morning message to even the smallest of ears:) 

Full disclosure: bringing the bible to a bunch of inquisitive children is no small task! One must be prepared. One must be ready to answer the most outlandish and curious riddles known to man! Like “So… Ms. Kari....did the whale have a room inside of it!?” 

There’s a hidden blessing of accountability in all that questioning, if we choose to see it that way. When the children are reaching for answers, it summons the heart and mind of the adult to go deeper into the endless ocean of God’s wonder, grace, and majesty. 

Honestly? It makes me a little nervous each week as I go in to prepare. Reading through the lens of a child, I’m looking at details in these classic bible stories and they seem to be hitting me for the first time! It’s like “I don’t remember hearing this at all! Since when did it say that Jonah threw a hissy fit whenever the people of Nineveh were saved? What a jerk! I think my Sunday School teacher left that part out.” 

I can name a handful of men and women in my formative years that invested a lot of time in my biblical upbringing. The Sunday School teachers, Wednesday night volunteers, and church camp chaperones. We spoke of the bible often and I’m sure that wonderful things were spoken over me. However, when I really stop and think about my childhood, there’s a lot I don’t remember. Some things do stick out though, and I recall incredible truths, filled with details and information from scripture that brought me to a greater understanding of the Jesus I know and love today.  

So maybe the problem isn’t that I didn’t hear all that much about Jonah. Maybe something else got in the way. Of course someone told me all about the wondrous love of Jesus. Maybe it’s just that a lot has been said since then. 

For instance, I remember hearing how Jesus wasn’t real, around the time I found out Santa wasn’t real. I recall being at a lunch table in the 6th grade when a close friend made a snarky comment about how “church people are just hypocrites'' and it confused me a great deal. I loved church people! I had friends in high school tell me that I was a prude and a goody goody. It became all too clear that nothing I valued was valued outside the walls of my church. The experiences of Jesus and the bible around me began to shape me from the inside out. 

So what happened to the truths spoken over me all those years ago? 

Simply put- They got pushed out.

You’re not my friend anymore. 

                No one’s going to like you if you don’t do it. 

                                       If you really loved God, you would stop sinning. 

           You’re just not my type. 

                                                  No one cares what you think. 

             You’re a Jesus Freak. 

                               This is way more fun than some stupid bible study. 

   The church is a joke. They’re all set in their ways. 

Those people don’t love God. Stay away from them. 

Instead of opening my bible to combat what I was hearing, I tuned in to every channel where these lies were being spoken. I would rather sing the tune of a popular song than to be made fun of for the melody in my heart. 

What are we allowing the world to speak over us? What negative influences are pushing out all the positive kingdom advances of our youth? How has “The Jesus Of Back Then” faded into the background of our lives? How did He go from being the main character in our story to being casted in a supporting role? 

I’ll be the first to say it. “Lord, forgive me.” 

Good news is all around us in the manifestation of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It ought to be the cry of our hearts that Jesus’ name would ring louder than any sound. Not as a clanging cymbal (1 Corinthians 13:41), but as the majestic and powerful melody that it is. (Psalm 29:1-4) I repent of the things I let push out the goodness of God’s love and lordship over my life. It’s time to take back those years, dig back in, and hold ourselves accountable to recalling what’s really real. 

Kari