See Good Things : Thanksgiving in June

June 8, 2021

I’m scarfing down my third plate of leftovers. Turkey, dressing, broccoli-rice casserole- the whole nine yards that’ll soon turn into 10 pounds. Knee deep in all the carbs and deliciousness commonly known as Thanksgiving Dinner. Except it’s June. Some would say “ew. Way too hot for that.” I would say “ew. Get away from me with that negative energy.”

This has been a dream of mine. To have a Thanksgiving feast for my birthday dinner and my adoring husband made it happen this year. He even cooked the turkey, y’all. It was fabulous. Friends came over with their babies and we had a house full of tiny squeaky giggles. I even attempted to put a football game on, just to help with the aesthetics. ESPN Classics was only showing basketball games. Bummer. Nevertheless, it was a grand time and it did my heart such good to be around my nearest and dearest people.

Sometimes when you’re that filled with joy, you catch yourself caught in some sort of transient state. At least I do. The room seems to slow down around me, like in an alternative rock music video or comedic drama where the character finally comes to some climactic realization. During this birthday dinner, I remember having this thought:

My friendships should outlast me. They should extend beyond myself and ripple outward indefinitely.

Friendship has been one of God’s greatest and latest gifts in my household. For the most part, I’m extroverted and extremely interested in other people, so I’ve been pretty good at making friends for the majority of my life. However, cultivating meaningful relationships in adulthood (juggle that alongside having a spouse and two children) has become one of the harder things to manage. It seems like we’re all too busy to be present. Too tired to have coffee. Too overwhelmed to even say “thanks for asking”. Too caught up in our reasons why we can’t make it happen and missing out on what’s happening all around us; without us.

Most everyone that came out to the house for my birthday dinner knew at least one other person that was in attendance, but we did have a few newcomers or family from out of town. It was a badge of honor to see my local friends spark conversations and ask an uncomfortable amount of questions to these poor new souls, all in the name of love. One newbie that showed up jumped right into it! He chatted with most everyone there and because of his willingness to buy into what was happening, he left feeling full and excited for more! As did we!

Sad to say, I’ve been on the receiving end of that sort of loving pursuit and it definitely takes some getting used to. “Gosh. It was like we were playing 20 Questions! I felt like I was being interrogated!” It makes you feel tense and it's much easier to call that person a weirdo than it is to admit your own insecurities. “What’s wrong with them?”

Shouldn't we desire that kind of love, though? To feel seen in a crowd of strangers? To be pursued despite the fact that you’re not fully known? Aren’t these the things we love so much about having a relationship with Jesus?

It seems we would rather deflect intentional community and embrace solitude. We live in a culture that is shouting for solidarity with the weak and oppressed but we’re only relational behind cell phone screens instead of knocking on a neighbors’ door and inviting them over for a barbeque.

We love that Jesus cares about us, but to experience a stranger starting to show interest in our wellbeing, we think something weird must be going on. Much worse- we find ourselves on the other end of that and face rejection every time we attempt to get to know someone. It’s easier to stay home than to have your friends flake out on you. Been there. Done that. But Jesus designed us to be together.

I hate that we question togetherness so much. I hate that in our society and within our relationships, there’s so much happening on the surface that the deep end seems dangerous. Sure you can swim in the shallow end, but why would you want to? Defeats the purpose of knowing how to swim.

After my birthday, I was swimming in enthusiasm, let me tell you! Not only because of the delightful food aforementioned- but because of the fellowship! One year olds running around getting into toy bins and purses, pushing buttons both figuratively and literally. Mom’s shrugging their shoulders at one another while the men carved the turkey and talked about how spicy the queso was. We played a game called Throw, Throw, Burrito (look it up and thank me later) and people were coming out of shells they didn’t even realize they were in. Belly laughs and cackles could be heard by the neighboring houses. My heart was full.

I can be sure that the friendships I hold with the people at that party will outlast me. I can be sure that no one left hungry. I can be sure that when the doors of my home are open, God’s people go to work and love on the least of these. I can be sure that anyone who didn’t enjoy themselves, misunderstood the meaning of gathering.

Jesus got in people’s business. He came straight into their homes. He didn’t put it on the calendar first. He simply walked in and they wanted nothing more than for His presence to be near them. Jesus put hands on the afflicted. He called on the name of the rich and the proud to follow Him. He sat with money-hungry men who were despised by all and knelt beside lepers that no one would be within three feet of. You’d better believe He asked uncomfortable questions. And yet- here we are. A byproduct of His barrier-breaking love. Thousands of years later, hearing more and more about Him, but looking less and less like Him.

Don’t walk through life hoping that no one talks to you. Be open to new relationships in your life. Let the love of Jesus flow from others onto you. You are not an island. Even if you were, He’d cross the seas to find you. Are you open to being found?

Pray

Jesus, help me to see how You’re pursuing me through others. Help me to reach out and love like You love. Help me to engage in those uncomfortable conversations in Your name. To bring light to dark places and hope to the weary. Help me step outside of my normal to live a life that is abundantly evident of Your influence on my heart. Help me to heal of past hurts or hinderances from bring an asset to Your Kingdom here on earth. Lord, when I do seek isolation to recharge and replenish my soul- be my source and my guide in that rest so that I may be strengthened to go out and share the goodness of your grace once more. Amen

Reflect

What sort of expectations do we set for our friends? Do we want friends that come to our party, fluff us up, and leave others out? Or do we live out discipleship in the midst of having our own needs met? Are you friendships set up in such a way that they will outlast you?

Take careful thought with the verses below and give yourself time to honestly answer each question that follows.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”- Proverbs 27:17

Are the people that you are in relationship with being sharpened by Christ’s work in you?

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”- James 5:16

Have you ever confessed sin to a friend? Is this something you do regularly? Why or why not?

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 12:4-5

How do you feel about “belonging” to someone else? How does it make you feel to know that God gives you a “special function” in His body of believers?

Do Something

Think of a time when someone made you uncomfortable in intentional conversation. What was at the root of your hesitation to engage?
Call up a few friends and ask: Am I easy to talk to? Am I a good listener? Be open to learning from their answers.
Write down three ways that you could be more approachable and place them in your bathroom mirror or car. Work on these things as you go throughout your week.
Make a list of things that are uncomfortable for you to talk about. Start praying over those things and ask God to help you be more vulnerable with other people in the faith.
Think of someone who needs community in their life. Then think of two or three friends that would pair well with that person. Invite them all for dinner, for coffee, or just an evening hang out in your home (yes, you can do it). See how God facilitates future gatherings. Be open to that.

See Good Things

Friday, July 2, 2021

Thanksgiving in June

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