- Lara Casey, Cultivate
The end of 2021 carried with it many cheap shots and frustrating circumstances. Apart from getting Covid the week of Christmas, my Facebook account was hacked beyond recovery. This week of rest quickly became a week of testing as I struggled to sleep through the night, aiding a sleep-digressing 2 year old and my own ailing sinus pressure. I could just cry from the weight of it all, and I often did. The only thing fueling me each and every morning was coffee and the hope of cultivating something new for my life.
I started reading the book Cultivate by Lara Casey with my friend Alicia back in November. She and I met on a women’s campout and became instant friends. Perhaps the last instant gratification of the year, honestly. Since starting the book, we have encouraged one another to slow down, grow good things, and step into a more intentional life (as described in the book). There wasn’t a specific plan in place, just yet- but the plan was to follow Jesus and trust him whole-heartedly with our marriages, our children, our dreams, and our mess. My favorite face-time comment Alicia made about the message of the book was “ We don’t grow a thing! God grows it all, ya know? I’m a friggin’ sinner!” It wasn’t shameful to admit our faults to one another. These realizations became anthems we would carry with us into our workplace and household. And it was in this tilling of the soil that groundbreaking work began for me. Work that would help me to persevere through what December would bring.
If we make it through December, we’ll be fine.- Merle Haggard
In my conversations and multiple confessions to Alicia, here are the things I desired to cultivate most:
- Reading the word of God more intentionally
- Prayer and Meditation
- The relationship between children
- My relationship with my husband
Now, consider the frustrational end of my 2021. Can you just look and see what God did?
I had all the time in the world to read my bible now that I couldn’t go anywhere or get on Facebook! While I was up every hour of the night with my son, I had infinite opportunities to pray over him and our family. The bond between my kids grew as playdates and outings ceased. Having Jared home to talk with, talk movies with, and just hold for a little longer became such precious time to reflect on all that God had given us. Yes, the end of this year carried with it many cheap shots and frustrating circumstances, but because of the work He was already doing in my heart, I was able to become more diligent in cultivating change in these areas of my life.
Hear me on this. God is in the business of putting you exactly where you long to be.
Never in a million years would I have ever wanted to be off of social media. I’m not proud to say this but it seriously would have taken an army to get me off of it. So he sent a hacker. They went into my account, changed my password, my email, rerouted things in a way that I couldn’t even get it back through the proper channels recommended to me by every Facebook help site. Nothing in my adult life has been more violating or visionary than the undoubtedly horrific toll this took on me. To see my page reappear, not have access to it, and to be able to do nothing about it? Not even to delete it? I hate the way this makes me feel, to be essentially kicked out of what I’ve built for the last decade or more. Poof. All gone. Digital doom. I had built a castle on sand. It was a wake-up call.
I will never put myself in a point of vulnerability with anything other than the Almighty like this ever again. I want to give the in and outs of my life solely to Him. I want my total trust, my highest praise, and all of my reaching to stretch toward Him.
So blessed to serve a God who would be willing to disappoint me in order to deliver me.
In hopes of getting the other one reported and deleted, I decided to create another Facebook account. As I type this to you, the heart change I feel is indescribable. You’re reading words from a person that is approval-seeking, who struggles to combat her slightly addictive personality, and she’s upset that she has to be on Facebook. I maybe get on it a few times a day to see if someone found a way to successfully report my old account as being hacked. I have some friends and family on there but it’s mainly just to check in every once in a while. I have confidence that it will not consume me, and you know why? Because I’ve been captivated by much more appealing things.
A note from my 4 year old daughter that say “I love win you play PJ Masks wiff me.”
Puzzles with my toddler who laughs when I say circle or truck with my “teacher voice”.
My husband laughing in the living room because our son is toting the entirety of his bedding up and down the stairs for the fourth time that day.
Holding hands on the couch because we have nowhere else we’d rather be.
And waking up early to find this nugget of wisdom tucked away in the first chapter of James:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
I believe that steadfastness is beginning to have it’s full effect in the Banks household. Gosh, I sure do feel complete. My standing opinion is that everything seems to be perfectly imperfect, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have all I’ll ever need. That, my friends, is what the Lord has done. My earnest prayer is that He may have His full effect in your life today.
Pray
All we've ever needed is You, God. All of the approval. All of the attention. All of the success. All of the comfort. It's always been in You. We pray that you create more space in the new year for us to draw nearer to You. Do away with the things that aren't pointing us to You, Jesus. Turn down the volume on the world, shoulder the burdens of our addictions, and sit with us in the silence as we seek Your face. Let us see every trial as pathway toward victory in You. Amen.
Reflect
Think about the thing you love most, that if you were to lose it, your faith might be challenged. Put that thing in the hand of God. Ask Him to help you hold it.
Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you felt like it all came crashing down at once? Did you remain faithful and steadfast? Explain.
What would it look like if God truly made space for the things we wish to cultivate? Would we welcome those changes?
Look at James 1:2-4. Would you consider yourself perfect? Complete? Do you view your life as abundant or lacking? Take inventory of your thoughts and write down your honest assessment.
Do Something
I love this definition.
cultivate: to grow or raise (something) under conditions that you can control.
- Make a list of things that you wish to grow in the new year. Then, make a list of things that have been getting in the way of that change. NOW, circle the things within that list that you can control. Underline the things that you cannot control.
- Look at this list you've marked up. How can you utilize the controlled conditions to grow new things this year? The things out of your control? That becomes part of your daily prayer list. Pray over those things and surrender them to the Lord. See what changes happen when you do!
- Print out a picture of a flower or use an actual vase of flowers and put this list of things you wish to cultivate next to it. This way you can be mindful of these things as you go throughout your day.
Further Reading
Read Matthew 7: 24-27 and ask yourself "What areas in my life am I building on sand instead of rock?" Make a list and share it with your family.
Cultivate: A Grace-Filled Guide to Growing an Intentional Life by Lara Casey
Listen
Promises- Tribl feat. Joe L Barnes and Naomi Rae
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